The Five Best Careers for Aspiring Evildoers
If you're looking to do evil for the long term, it's time to start looking at a career. While bank robberies and kidnapping are great on a freelance level, you can't start a family with that type of lifestyle. With that in mind, let's take a look at the best careers for evildoers who are looking to really settle in and master their craft.
Picking a career you actually like
The mad scientist might be the most common stereotype amongst the evil community, but that's because it's one of the easiest ways to be both prolific and maintain a reasonable cover identity
Why would you want to be a scientist? Well, your main job is research, for starters. That means you can be the one laying down false evidence
We as a people inherently trust science and that means we believe scientists. If you really want to do evil, your best bet is to look like someone we all trust. You'll have us eating out of your hands in no time.
Locksmiths are not supposed to be the evil type. After all, they're trusted with the ability to open any lock in existence. From your home to your car and all the safes in between, a locksmith can get to you and your personal information in a heartbeat.
Locksmiths are typically reputable people, but the potential for evil is pretty great. What's better is that you don't even really need to become a locksmith to know how to pick a lock, you can learn in your spare time. Heck, we alone have shown you how to crack a padlock, a safe, a bike lock, and plenty of other locks
Programmer (or Hacker)
Okay, so hacker isn't exactly a career, but with hacking skills you can pursue all kinds of legitimate jobs in programming
You can start by cracking wi-fi passwords
Used Car Salesman
A used car salesman is kind of the classic manipulator, and while the stigma is probably a little overwrought, it's still a great job for any evil people looking to practice their persuasion chops on a daily basis.
The good news is that if you're interested in being a used car salesman, you're not going to need too much training. You'll need some practice to get good at it, but you won't need to pay any money. We've brought you experts in the art of persuasion before
Basically, with just a little work and research, you'll be well on your way to being the best used car salesman out there. Plus, you'll probably be able to manipulate your way into tons of other crazy situations.
Investment bankers, wall street investors, and traders are some of the most powerful people in the world. That's partially because they tend to have a lot of money, but even more importantly: they control the flow of money. For better or worse, this gives them a ton of power.
For evildoers, this is a pretty big carrot at the end of the stick of an MBA program. But you don't necessarily even have to go that far. There are a ton of ways you can DIY your own investments. That could mean learning from an expert